February 11, 2011
My Madre, Laurella Jean St. Denis
On Monday, January 24th, I was driving home from work and called home to see if I could pick up anything last minute to go with dinner and while on the phone with Marcus, Providence St. Peter Hospital called and Marcus said he should probably answer because it was the second time they had called, back to back.
I pulled into the driveway and Marcus was outside. He let me know that my mom had suffered a stroke and she had a large bleed in her brain and immediately, my heart felt sick. I stayed calm, Marcus had already arranged for my dad to stay there with the kids and I gave them my love, grabbed a few things and Marcus took me to the hospital. We got there and she was in ICU and met the fantastic medical staff and they started explaining everything immediately. The neuro-surgeon explained to us (after reviewing her CT scan) that mom had a severe right brain hemorrhagic stroke. She could see that it had been over 24 hours since the stroke (because it was already showing up on the scan) and mom may have fallen and went unnoticed for a while,which caused her brain to bleed. She let us know, it's a life or death situation and the next three to five days would be crucial and the daily scans and MRI's would tell her if there was continued swelling in her brain, whether it was still bleeding and would shift anymore than it had already. She was conscience when we got there and very spirited, which the nurse explained is very common for neuro patients. They had her on blood pressure medicine to keep it regulated (not too high and not too low) and started a central IV line, feeding tube and put a catheter in. Mom kept insisting that she was going to get up with our help to use the restroom and when I reassured her that she had a catheter in and didn't need to get up, she told me to take a "walk about". It was funny, especially because I had never really heard her use this phrase before. She also didn't like it when I told her she would need to leave her bed controls alone as they didn't want her lieing flat because of the brain injury/bleed and she asked Marcus to come over to talk to her and she told Marcus, "will you tell your "old lady" to take a walk about"? She was cracking us up. She told Sloan and O that she didn't give a "rat's ass" what the Dr. said about where her bed position needed to be. It was nice to see that she was awake, talking and making sense. I spent the night with her and tried to calm her down when she would get scared, sang to her, prayed for her and started a prayer chain with family, church family and friends, mostly using facebook.
My brother, Mikie was leaving Washington DC the next morning and let me know that he would be there soon. Soren, who was in MN, signing papers on a house that him and Jaime made an offer on, he was also going to be coming and after calling the airlines, they decided to drive here as it would be too difficult and expensive to fly him, Jaime and the twins back to WA from MN, so they started their journey to WA after Jamie and the twins had just got to MN to see the house and sign paperwork only a day before the news and Wyatt had gotten an ear infection, maybe from flying and so they had to drive accoss country with a sick little guy and through tons of snow, not fun!
Things went downhill on Tuesday and mom's heart was taking on a lot of stress, her breathing was all over the place, mostly very high and they couldn't get her to be wakeful, much if at all, which for neuro patients is not good. They told me that I there was a good chance that I'd have to make some decisions on life support devices and because her and Adrian weren't married, it would be up to my brother's and I so I needed to be prepared to make these decisions if need be before my brother's arrived. During that time, I was there alone. Adrian had gone out to the island to get the animals and some of mom's things, Marcus had gone to get some things and talk to his boss and Mikie was in the air on his way to us. They gave me a moment and I went to the waiting room while they were running tests, taking chest x-rays and the Dr.'s and nurses were talking things over. A nurse from the quick response team came quickly to get me and brought me to my mom and the Dr. said I had to make a choice if I wanted life support to be used because they needed to use a ventilator to help my mom breathe - they asked me to sign a form and talked to me for a few minutes to explain things. I talked to them about the procedure itself, what risks came with it and what damage it could do to her body, temporarily or permanently. They reassured me that she needed this so give ease her breathing and that her body could not keep up the pace it was on for much longer. A nurse hugged me and said she would be there with my mom the whole time and that she would make sure she was well taken care of and she would come get me in the waiting room when it was in. I made it to the long hallway on my way to the waiting room, until I completely lost it. I prayed for God's hands to be put on my mom, for the medical staff and for strength and His guidance for our whole family. I called Marcus and could barely breathe, I also called Soren, Mikie, who was in Chicago for his lay-over and I also talked to Adrian and a couple of mom's brother's and sisters who were all faithfully praying. Later that evening, John and Sloan had gone to the airport to get Mikie and it was very nice to see him after such a long day. The nursing staff and Dr.'s were all incredible. The nurses showed me downstairs to the fitness center so I could shower, Marcus had brought me fresh clothes and I was feeling much better after a short couple naps. I left the hospital late that night with Marcus to go home and get some good sleep, it was nice to feel the cold night air. Mikie stayed there that night and I ended up getting some much needed rest. When we got back to the hospital, Mikie told me that the Dr. had let him know that if I hadn't made that decision, mom would've passed away on Tuesday afternoon before he had a chance to see her. Those words lingered in my ear, that she was that close to being gone forever!
I prayed a lot, listened to a lot of music and asked everyone for prayers and love. I felt so blessed that God, He who is Lord, always hears our prayers and I could see them being answered already and was excited for the miracles that would keep pouring in.
Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass. (Ps 37.5)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. (Prov 3.5-6)
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. (Revelation 21:4)
Since that Wednesday, so much has happened. Soren got there, mom's sister Joyce, her son's Jerrod and Jace came from Redding, CA for 3 nights, mom had ups and downs, we found out she had lung disease and pnemonia, she was getting food through a tube, was very sleepy, she flipped off the Stroke Specialist during her neuro-assessment after not doing much of anything at all since being on the ventilator, her breathing was regulated, got off the ventilator, pulled out her feeding tube, passed a swallowing test to move her to honey thick liquid diet, moved up to the fifth floor and sung "moving on up, to the 5th floor" before she left the ICU, talked to us, cried, started passing her neuro tests, apologized for flipping the Dr. off, got moved to the 5th floor on Tuesday night right as we were leaving to take Mikie to the airport, Soren had left on Monday morning, Joyce, Jerrod and Jace left Monday night, I came back to work on Wednesday, mom's diet was upgraded to pureed food on the fifth floor, I visited mom during her lunch, fed her and after work, I came back and spent time with her, Thursday night, Marcus, Linni, MJ and I helped her move to the onsite, Inpatient Rehabilitation Unit where she'll be until about March 4th. Her diet was upgraded yet again to soft foods with more consistency, some things she's been loving, Wendy's chili, strawberry shakes, breakfast omelets and pretty much anything that you put in front of her. She started feeding herself and doing a great job, her liquids can now be normal without being thickened, she's sitting up in a wheel chair, her catheter was removed and she can roll over in bed with help, she can use the restroom with help. Last night she concentrated really hard and moved her left hand and toes for the first time since the stroke. She has a huge appetite, she is in good spirits and working very hard in speech, occupational and physical therapy six days a week. She has a lot of visitors, cards and care packages coming in from her family, everyone has been so wonderful and supportive. Her mom plans on coming to see her soon and bring her an apple pie because that is one of the first things she asked about when getting the ventilator out. I have spent every day with her whenever I can. It's been so nice, just loving her back to health! Mom, you are my sunshine and I love to love you and will continue doing so always and forever!
Some pics of mom in the hospital and a couple of her growing up, you always have and always will be absolutely beautiful mom, inside & out!
I pulled into the driveway and Marcus was outside. He let me know that my mom had suffered a stroke and she had a large bleed in her brain and immediately, my heart felt sick. I stayed calm, Marcus had already arranged for my dad to stay there with the kids and I gave them my love, grabbed a few things and Marcus took me to the hospital. We got there and she was in ICU and met the fantastic medical staff and they started explaining everything immediately. The neuro-surgeon explained to us (after reviewing her CT scan) that mom had a severe right brain hemorrhagic stroke. She could see that it had been over 24 hours since the stroke (because it was already showing up on the scan) and mom may have fallen and went unnoticed for a while,which caused her brain to bleed. She let us know, it's a life or death situation and the next three to five days would be crucial and the daily scans and MRI's would tell her if there was continued swelling in her brain, whether it was still bleeding and would shift anymore than it had already. She was conscience when we got there and very spirited, which the nurse explained is very common for neuro patients. They had her on blood pressure medicine to keep it regulated (not too high and not too low) and started a central IV line, feeding tube and put a catheter in. Mom kept insisting that she was going to get up with our help to use the restroom and when I reassured her that she had a catheter in and didn't need to get up, she told me to take a "walk about". It was funny, especially because I had never really heard her use this phrase before. She also didn't like it when I told her she would need to leave her bed controls alone as they didn't want her lieing flat because of the brain injury/bleed and she asked Marcus to come over to talk to her and she told Marcus, "will you tell your "old lady" to take a walk about"? She was cracking us up. She told Sloan and O that she didn't give a "rat's ass" what the Dr. said about where her bed position needed to be. It was nice to see that she was awake, talking and making sense. I spent the night with her and tried to calm her down when she would get scared, sang to her, prayed for her and started a prayer chain with family, church family and friends, mostly using facebook.
My brother, Mikie was leaving Washington DC the next morning and let me know that he would be there soon. Soren, who was in MN, signing papers on a house that him and Jaime made an offer on, he was also going to be coming and after calling the airlines, they decided to drive here as it would be too difficult and expensive to fly him, Jaime and the twins back to WA from MN, so they started their journey to WA after Jamie and the twins had just got to MN to see the house and sign paperwork only a day before the news and Wyatt had gotten an ear infection, maybe from flying and so they had to drive accoss country with a sick little guy and through tons of snow, not fun!
Things went downhill on Tuesday and mom's heart was taking on a lot of stress, her breathing was all over the place, mostly very high and they couldn't get her to be wakeful, much if at all, which for neuro patients is not good. They told me that I there was a good chance that I'd have to make some decisions on life support devices and because her and Adrian weren't married, it would be up to my brother's and I so I needed to be prepared to make these decisions if need be before my brother's arrived. During that time, I was there alone. Adrian had gone out to the island to get the animals and some of mom's things, Marcus had gone to get some things and talk to his boss and Mikie was in the air on his way to us. They gave me a moment and I went to the waiting room while they were running tests, taking chest x-rays and the Dr.'s and nurses were talking things over. A nurse from the quick response team came quickly to get me and brought me to my mom and the Dr. said I had to make a choice if I wanted life support to be used because they needed to use a ventilator to help my mom breathe - they asked me to sign a form and talked to me for a few minutes to explain things. I talked to them about the procedure itself, what risks came with it and what damage it could do to her body, temporarily or permanently. They reassured me that she needed this so give ease her breathing and that her body could not keep up the pace it was on for much longer. A nurse hugged me and said she would be there with my mom the whole time and that she would make sure she was well taken care of and she would come get me in the waiting room when it was in. I made it to the long hallway on my way to the waiting room, until I completely lost it. I prayed for God's hands to be put on my mom, for the medical staff and for strength and His guidance for our whole family. I called Marcus and could barely breathe, I also called Soren, Mikie, who was in Chicago for his lay-over and I also talked to Adrian and a couple of mom's brother's and sisters who were all faithfully praying. Later that evening, John and Sloan had gone to the airport to get Mikie and it was very nice to see him after such a long day. The nursing staff and Dr.'s were all incredible. The nurses showed me downstairs to the fitness center so I could shower, Marcus had brought me fresh clothes and I was feeling much better after a short couple naps. I left the hospital late that night with Marcus to go home and get some good sleep, it was nice to feel the cold night air. Mikie stayed there that night and I ended up getting some much needed rest. When we got back to the hospital, Mikie told me that the Dr. had let him know that if I hadn't made that decision, mom would've passed away on Tuesday afternoon before he had a chance to see her. Those words lingered in my ear, that she was that close to being gone forever!
I prayed a lot, listened to a lot of music and asked everyone for prayers and love. I felt so blessed that God, He who is Lord, always hears our prayers and I could see them being answered already and was excited for the miracles that would keep pouring in.
Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass. (Ps 37.5)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. (Prov 3.5-6)
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. (Revelation 21:4)
Since that Wednesday, so much has happened. Soren got there, mom's sister Joyce, her son's Jerrod and Jace came from Redding, CA for 3 nights, mom had ups and downs, we found out she had lung disease and pnemonia, she was getting food through a tube, was very sleepy, she flipped off the Stroke Specialist during her neuro-assessment after not doing much of anything at all since being on the ventilator, her breathing was regulated, got off the ventilator, pulled out her feeding tube, passed a swallowing test to move her to honey thick liquid diet, moved up to the fifth floor and sung "moving on up, to the 5th floor" before she left the ICU, talked to us, cried, started passing her neuro tests, apologized for flipping the Dr. off, got moved to the 5th floor on Tuesday night right as we were leaving to take Mikie to the airport, Soren had left on Monday morning, Joyce, Jerrod and Jace left Monday night, I came back to work on Wednesday, mom's diet was upgraded to pureed food on the fifth floor, I visited mom during her lunch, fed her and after work, I came back and spent time with her, Thursday night, Marcus, Linni, MJ and I helped her move to the onsite, Inpatient Rehabilitation Unit where she'll be until about March 4th. Her diet was upgraded yet again to soft foods with more consistency, some things she's been loving, Wendy's chili, strawberry shakes, breakfast omelets and pretty much anything that you put in front of her. She started feeding herself and doing a great job, her liquids can now be normal without being thickened, she's sitting up in a wheel chair, her catheter was removed and she can roll over in bed with help, she can use the restroom with help. Last night she concentrated really hard and moved her left hand and toes for the first time since the stroke. She has a huge appetite, she is in good spirits and working very hard in speech, occupational and physical therapy six days a week. She has a lot of visitors, cards and care packages coming in from her family, everyone has been so wonderful and supportive. Her mom plans on coming to see her soon and bring her an apple pie because that is one of the first things she asked about when getting the ventilator out. I have spent every day with her whenever I can. It's been so nice, just loving her back to health! Mom, you are my sunshine and I love to love you and will continue doing so always and forever!
Some pics of mom in the hospital and a couple of her growing up, you always have and always will be absolutely beautiful mom, inside & out!
Tuesday evening
Friday morning
Monday afternoon
Monday afternoon, mom's sister Joyce and two of her son's Jerrod & Jace
Tuesday afternoon (Wind up Here toy store, downtown) before Mikie left for airport
Otown and MJ in Wind up Here
Mom's high school graduation picture
Mom and Mikie :) (I love you, big brother)
in Minnapolis, MN when Mikie was about 6
On Tuesday, we let Linni & Olivia stay home from school to spend one last day with their uncle before he had to go back to DC and we went to the hospital to visit mom and after that, we spent the whole day away from the hospital, doing fun things with the girls and MJ. We had so much fun and it was greatly needed to have this time together and just be out of the hospital. Thanks Mikie and kiddos for a great day! Sloan wasn't able to stay home as she was taking her finals, we missed you - especially eating our 7,000 calories of ice cream! (each)
Keep up the hard work mom, you're doing amazing! Thanks be to You, God for your miracles in mom and Your continued work in all of us!
Keep up the hard work mom, you're doing amazing! Thanks be to You, God for your miracles in mom and Your continued work in all of us!
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